I have the privilege to work in a profession that allows me to help others by helping provide for resources that allow others to teach, learn and make an impact out in the world. Every now and then that work I do really gets to me in a strong emotional way. That very thing happened last night at an event to honor the life of a man who happened to attend SMU's business school and who then went on to have a successful career in tax accounting with several well-known companies. After he passed away, his friends and colleagues wanted to honor him in a special way at his alma mater so they worked with our office to establish an endowed scholarship in his name for students hoping to work in his same field. Last night several of this seemingly wonderful man's friends, family and colleagues addressed a room of more than 200 people telling us why he was so special and why they chose to honor him in this way. One presentation in particular brought intense emotion to the room and then the news that the scholarship had exceeded the funding goal - more than $100,000 being raised - and the impact of this news brought yet another wave of emotion to the room. As I sat in my chair at the front of the ballroom, I was struck by the love and admiration in the room. Though I did not have the pleasure of knowing this man, I am so proud to have had any part in the special way his memory is being honored. I can only hope to have a similar outpouring of love and appreciation at this life's end. Finally, as the event wrapped up and I felt completely overjoyed for this group and what they had accomplished for this man, I realized I was equally inspired by my colleagues who made all of this happen. I was able to fully and completely engross myself in the spirit of the event and what had transpired because I was not stressed or anxious or even working all that hard. They had it all taken care of. I was reminded that my job is, in fact, a privilege.

My Lens

It's been a long time since I've posted anything on my blog. Not that I haven't had interesting and wonderful things to capture, but time is precious and between work and personal emails, Facebook and other online commitments, I just haven't had much energy left over for the blog. But, I have missed it.

As part of my gift to myself this holiday, I purchased the Maxwell Daily Reader by John Maxwell. It is a daily inspiration on leadership and self. I am only reading it on work days as that's when I need it the most and find that it enhances my day all day long. My smart Husband is actually the one who introduced me to the Maxwell Daily Reader. He dusted it off in a Half Price Book Store and book one for himself and then several work colleagues. I did the same this Christmas - bought one for myself as well as a couple of colleagues and a close friend all of whom I think will benefit from the book and its messages, and all of whom I will enjoy reading it with.

Today's message, "You Are Your Lens," was very powerful for me. It states, "The way people see others is a reflection of themselves: If I am a trusting person, I will see others as trustworthy... If you change yourself and become the kind of person you desire to be, you will begin to view others in a whole new light. And that will change the way you interact in all of your relationships."

I am going to dust off my lens and be sure I am the kind of person I want to be so that I can see others more clearly and more positively.

Happy 2010!!!

Today was a great day. Spending time alone with my daughter; a visit from a dear friend; and my Husband home early from work - not to mention the gorgeous weather! The photo above is proof of our wonderful day - all smiles as a family. And boy was Miss Rylee enjoying the outdoors. The photo below was taken of her only moments before the photo above was taken. She slept soundly for more than 30 minutes on the blanket out on the front lawn while clutching her Lovie. These are the moments that life is really all about. Loving your family, your friends and your home...ahhhh...perfection.

Spills & Thrills

As I walked into the house last night after having to work late, I smelled something cooking in the oven, heard the faint crankiness of my daughter and felt an almost palpable anxiety in the air. I peeked into the kitchen where I saw pans and cooking items strewn about, baby bottles and their accessories toppled over, lights blaring, the back door not shut all the way, and my Husband calling down from Rylee's room saying, "We're up here..." I quickly started up the stairs and found Greg and Rylee rocking in the glider in Rylee's room. They seemed safe and fine, but there was still that bit of anxiety on both Greg and Rylee's faces. Since it was baby's bedtime, I changed from my work clothes and sat down with Rylee to feed her. Greg said he had to get back downstairs to clean up his mess and then jokingly said, "This was a piece of cake!" The piece of cake activity to which he was referring was caring for our 3-month-old daughter all alone for a few hours while I worked late. Greg was responsible for keeping her company, recognizing that she was tired and ready for her bath and pjs before I got home to feed her and put her to bed. Greg has assisted me with all of these activities, but he'd not had to do the bath and bed routine on his own, and he did a great job...with just a little mess left in his wake. The anxiety I sensed, I believe, was simply due to the fact that both Greg and Rylee knew something was missing, something was just not quite complete...momma wasn't home! That makes me feel good. It also makes me feel good to know my Husband is such a good Father to our little girl and that even with a few spills and thrills, he can do anything!

Baba's Love

My grandmother, who is 88 years old, was in town this past weekend and every time I think of my grandmother I think of sugar. She puts sugar into everything she does, literally and figuratively. As I watched her love on my baby girl, I was struck by how lucky both me and Rylee are to have Baba in our lives to tell us the same stories over and over again; crack us up with her hilarious way; and feed us, oh yes, feed us big time!! Baba, as I call her, is a great Southern cook and if you know anything about Southern cooking, you know it's all about love, sugar and butter. So, as Baba was preparing to come to Dallas this past weekend she asked what we wanted her to fix to eat. Of course she would bring a tub of pimento cheese (yes, even sugar in that!), and some fresh fruit from the market, but what desserts and what main dish would we want? Well, I was in the mood for peach cobbler and since she'd already be in the crusty mode for that, I figured some chicken and dumplings would be nice. Now let me tell you that with Baba's chicken and dumplings, the dumpling is definitely the star of the show. Those tiny pieces of chicken can't stand up next to those fluffy, creamy biscuits, and that's how we like it! Of course my Husband said he wanted Baba to make a bread pudding and some cookies, so what does Baba do - she makes it ALL!! So all weekend I snuck little bites of this and that, thinking I could never eat a whole bowl of anything she made because of all that sugar and butter. This morning, however, I decided to really indulge and instead of packing a nice, healthy lunch for myself, I packed up a small container of the peach cobbler and that was my lunch. And as one of my co-workers noticed this strange lunch indulgence coming out of the microwave, I quickly retorted, "IT HAS FRUIT IN IT!!" Yes, it has fruit and sugar and butter...and love. All I really wanted for lunch today was a little of Baba's love.

JOY & SATISFACTION

I assume it's because I have a new baby girl in my life, but I feel so joyful and satisfied with my life. A friend asked me this morning how I am doing these days, and I honestly had only the most positive and happy response to give. My life is wonderful: I feel beautiful and I am healthy, I have a beautiful, healthy Daughter, a loving Husband, friends and family that I am close with, a great Home and a fulfilling career. What else could a girl want? I know how blessed I am and I feel it all day every day. Maybe that's just one of the ways my life has changed - I have a new outlook and a renewed sense of joy and satisfaction. But, of course, my life has changed in many other ways, as well.

As a mother, I became that identity right away. I now think of Rylee's needs before my own. I don't hesitate to respond to her, even when it's not convenient or comfortable (3 a.m.!!). I have even sacrificed financially, socially and personally and feel those sacrifices aren't a sacrifice in the least. As an only child, I have been accustomed to a certain level of independence and, how should I say it, selfishness. Well, suddenly I don't feel such a need for either of those things as it relates to my Daughter. She is my focus and my heart. My how a baby changes things, and what they've always told me is correct, "Once you have a baby, you won't be the baby any more." And you know what? I'm completely OK with that fact!!

One final thought on this mothering thing...I realized last night that I haven't fully appreciated and examined the amazing experience that is child birth. I was lying in bed last night just recalling all that my body did and went through to give life to Rylee, from pregnancy to delivery, and I was so proud of myself. I know women all over the world since the beginning of time have been giving birth and nothing I did was particularly unique, but it is nevertheless remarkable. And as I was thinking about this, I had a moment of sadness over not being pregnant any longer. Of course, I could do without the pain and discomfort, but just that feeling of having my baby inside me moving around. I almost can't remember what it feels like and that makes me sad. My Husband referred to this line of thought as my version of the Baby Blues. I just think I am in awe of every step that has brought me to motherhood - all of the physicality, the emotion and the commitment. Each step has brought me to this place of joy and satisfaction.

It's sort of sad to me when I see my precious, pure, new baby girl with her first mosquito bite, her first scab from where she has scratched herself, the first signs of the Texas heat affecting her sensitive skin with heat rash and those tiny pin size bruises from her first vaccinations. I know there are going to be lots of bumps, bruises, scars and sniffles along the way in Rylee's life (and mine alongside her!), and I will relish in my ability, as mommy, to kiss the pain away. But I am sort of sad that she won't stay my perfectly pink little angel forever.